Lauren Go Crash

Last you heard from me , I was galavanting around Guam. As you might have suspected, I’m a magnet for misadventure.

Well, the galavanting was just too much fun and I had to do more!! Nancy and David wanted all of us that were on Guam for the wedding to see the Island. We figured the most fun way to do that would be by scooter!! So we went out and rented SIX scooters. I was quite proud of Nancy and David for slummin it on scooters as they are card carrying members of their local Harley club. But they played along and we had sooo much fun!

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These dudes had set up shop at a random lookout. Their set up included a bunch of beer (for themselves) and some coconuts that they were selling to tourists. We bought a few for the sweet coconut water. After we drank all the water they opened up the young coconuts and had us try the fresh soft meat with soy sauce and wasabi, like you would with sushi. IT WAS FANTASTIC.

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Selfies whilst scootering is SMART!

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Roxy looking like a movie star.

We were having a BLAST around the island. Seeing history and culture and the beauty of this small island.

I was enjoying it sooooo much, I wasn’t paying a stitch of attention to the road.

AND THEN I CRASHED!!!!!

It was all a bit of a blur, but I had a few thoughts in rapid fire:

1: Holy living FUCK my ankle’s most definitely broken!!!

2: I have to get off the road FAST as it is in the middle of a corner and someone coming around it would squish me in a hot second.

3: I don’t have insurance!

4: OH wait!! I DO have insurance with Obamacare that I just got approved for last week, THANK GOD.

5: How am I gonna take the scuba lesson we have scheduled?

6: How in the living SHIT am I going to walk down the (sandy) aisle as a bridesmaid?

It turns out a dude that saw the whole thing was an EMT and helped me get out of the road right away, but not until after I had popped my ankle back to some semblance of a normal angle (EWWWWWWWW).

Neighbors came out of their houses and were SO kind. All photo credit goes to Roxy. You all know what a photo whore I am. As soon as I was safe, I turned to Roxy and said, ‘you better get all of this craziness in pics!’

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Laying on the side of the road, shaded by kind strangers.

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The culprit and the savior.

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Janice (David’s sister) telling me a dirty joke to keep me distracted as the EMTs worked on my ankle.

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Getting loaded up! Always with a smile of course 😉

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WEEEEEEE! MORPHINE!!!!

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Thank GOD my beloved tattoo came away unscathed. My hand? Erm, not so much.

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Oh. You want to give me MORE morphine? Um, ok. Sure. I guess so… aaaaaand there I go….

I’ll spare you the SUUUUPER gross pics and just leave you all here for now. The adventure continues next time!! Stay tuned!

LoLo

 

 

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