Gorilla Suit

I went to meet my friend’s new man (that she met on a dating site, so I thought it appropriate) last night. We went all out and were going to do a double date with one of the new bf’s friends. Except for the fact that bf’s buddy bailed and so then it was just my friend, friend’s bf, and me. Oh YAY! I get to be a third wheel!

In reality, though, I didn’t feel awkward at all. You know, no more than usual. We got along great, and were laughing our asses off. We were a few bottles of wine and a fair amount of cocktails in when we were at the second pub of the night. I noticed a huge Christmas tree out of the corner of my eye. I mean, it was just sitting there with its Christmas cheer, staring at me. Mocking me. So I tackled it to the ground.  Then we got kicked out.

We go back to new bf’s house, eat copious amounts of fried chicken and when it is time to go to sleep, I find out that he ONLY has the blanket that is the one on his bed. Come on, mate,  you don’t have ANY other blankets? The answer is no. So the only solution to keeping me warm on the couch at 4 in the morning is for me to put on a gorilla suit that new bf has in his costume box. So, down I tread to his stark white couch and pass out. I wake up in the morning to new bf’s SUPER hot roommate walking into the room in nothing but his towel and being surprised by a girl in a gorilla suit on his couch. To make conversation, he asks how my night went. I tell him that I wrestled a Christmas tree to the ground. His one and only response: “I fucking hate Christmas trees.” Well put, hottie.

Note to self: gorillas shed a lot, never go near a white couch whilst wearing a gorilla suit again.
P.S. now I need a gorilla suit.

Surprisingly warm

Creepy Goobs (gorilla boobs)


5 thoughts on “Gorilla Suit

  1. That is so awesome, and those are the best pin-up pics ever. Give that suit a brazilian, I say. Seriously, that is a scene out of a movie. you rule.

  2. Pingback: Armageddon Prep « Uncontrollable Awesomeness

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