I’m just going to list some observations/reflections/annoyances on this whole internet dating scene*:
- How in the FUCK am I supposed to respond to a message that, in its entirety, says “hi”? I mean these ones have no imagination. DELETE.
- The obligatory “I’m going to oil myself up, pump iron to look super stacked, take my shirt off and take a bare-chested pic of me in my dirty bathroom with my cell phone” shot? Eww.
- Oh GOD. The grammar. And spelling. And punctuation. Or complete and utter lack of any of the previously mentioned. I mean I’m no model of grammar myself. Or decent writing. Or sentence structure that makes any sense at all. But come ON. Can’t you at least attempt?
- It would be good to have your profile pics in focus. That picture of the sunset with not one person in it? Don’t care. I’m not here to date a sunset. Wait just one minute! Dating the sunset….Hmmmm. Intriguing. At least Sunset is a reliable date…
- Group pictures as profile pics? Ok, I’ve figured out which one you are by my unparallelled powers of deduction. But, can I per chance, have your super hot friend’s phone number? Yeah, that one, the one directly on your left. Thanks.
- If I don’t respond to you, it’s because I’m not interested. That doesn’t mean I want increasingly enraged emails asking me “What’s wrong with me that you wouldn’t even have the decency to respond? Who do you think you are?!?!?” Stuck up bitch”. First, I sometimes get 30 emails a DAY. Second, do you really want me to tell you what is wrong with you? Really. Because I will. It will scar you for life. Instead I choose the polite way of simply not responding and deleting.
*Yes, I realize that I sound like a raging, judgey-faced bitch. Yes, I realize I should give people a break. But a warm and fuzzy blog about people doing their best to put themselves out there in the interwebs in a kind and respectful way? BOOOOORING.