Reflections (aka ranting and raving)

I’m just going to list some observations/reflections/annoyances on this whole internet dating scene*:

  • How in the FUCK am I supposed to respond to a message that, in its entirety, says “hi”? I mean these ones have no imagination. DELETE.
  • The obligatory “I’m going to oil myself up, pump iron to look super stacked, take my shirt off and take a bare-chested pic of me in my dirty bathroom with my cell phone” shot? Eww.

Article #1-Shady….

Article #2-Douche

  • Oh GOD. The grammar. And spelling. And punctuation. Or complete and utter lack of any of the previously mentioned. I mean I’m no model of grammar myself. Or decent writing. Or sentence structure that makes any sense at all. But come ON. Can’t you at least attempt?
  • It would be good to have your profile pics in focus. That picture of the sunset with not one person in it? Don’t care. I’m not here to date a sunset. Wait just one minute! Dating the sunset….Hmmmm. Intriguing. At least Sunset is a reliable date…
  • Group pictures as profile pics? Ok, I’ve figured out which one you are by my unparallelled powers of deduction. But, can I per chance, have your super hot friend’s phone number? Yeah, that one, the one directly on your left. Thanks.
  • If I don’t respond to you, it’s because I’m not interested. That doesn’t mean I want increasingly enraged emails asking me “What’s wrong with me that you wouldn’t even have the decency to respond? Who do you think you are?!?!?” Stuck up bitch”. First, I sometimes get 30 emails a DAY. Second, do you really want me to tell you what is wrong with you? Really. Because I will. It will scar you for life. Instead I choose the polite way of simply not responding and deleting.

*Yes, I realize that I sound like a raging, judgey-faced bitch. Yes, I realize I should give people a break. But a warm and fuzzy blog about people doing their best to put themselves out there in the interwebs in a kind and respectful way? BOOOOORING.

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3 thoughts on “Reflections (aka ranting and raving)

  1. rule #1: don’t date or entertain dating someone who thinks they’re going to lure you in with a shirtless photo. They are vain, insecure and expect you to be hot. end result in 15 years. he thinks he’s too hot for you even though he’s packed on about 20lbs in the gut and is cheating on you with the au pair.

    If a guy is ripped, it had better be b/c he’s either the diet coke guy or has some manly job that requires lifting heavy objects. NOT obsessive gym going. Otherwise, I’ll take the slighty out of shape skinny nerd that likes witty banter, laughs in the sack and takes me to cool concerts.

    my 2 cents.

  2. Pingback: OOOOOOO-EEEEE! A response to Hey Dumbfuck! | Uncontrollable Awesomeness

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