Internet Dating Hell

Ok, right now I’m admitting that I have signed up for not one but THREE internet dating sites. A tad embarrassing? Yeah maybe. But you want to know what I’ve discovered? ALL of these friends of mine are doing the same. Just no one talks about it. It’s like this dirty little secret. Well screw that, I’m blowing this shit up. And I’m going to write about it. Because you know what? This shit is HILARIOUS! I couldn’t keep this kind of comedy from you.

Just a little taste of the experience:

Random 22 year old punk emails me nothing but:

“Jesus. Scary.”

Really? You had to take time out of your day to type that and press send?

 

Well let me just set the stage a bit. I’ll let you know what my pics on the site(s) are, so you can see what they see:

Me and the dog drunk on Sangria

Lazing in Mexico

 

A typical dy at work.

Yeah, ok, so maybe that last one is a bit much. But I have to lighten it up somehow!

Alright, my friends and loved ones, that is all for now. I have to go drag up some freaks/assholes/liers from the interwebs for all of our amusement. I’m pretty much going to keep posting about the crazy shit guys email me and dates I go on. Stay tuned!

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7 thoughts on “Internet Dating Hell

  1. Everyone I know (gay and straight) dates only via internet sites! That, or through Hipster Trivia Clubs and / or Lesbian Book Clubs. My friend Jennifer gets almost all the material for her blog from her online dating adventures! And actually, I know a few people who found their spouses that way.

    So hopefully it will all work out. God forbid you join one of those trivia groups that meets in dive bars. Your pics are smoking hot!! What’s scary about them apples???!!!

  2. I like the strategy of scaring the ones that get freaked out by the fishing pic before you end up spending two hours of wasted time meeting them in person.

    . . . or maybe he just wanted to know if you are scared of Jesus too and just forgot to punctuate it with a question mark.

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