Blocked!

So, I’ve been blocked by TWO men on a dating site. Not because of what you are assuming (that I obsessively messaged them begging them to have my children). One of them asked me to ‘friend’ them on Facebook. I told him “I would prefer to not add someone from a dating site to Facebook, as I made that mistake already and shit got weird.” He blocked me, but not before emailing me to tell me at least he knows now instead of later how “absolutely dishonest” I am.

Yeah, alright.

The other? Oh this is a good one.

Ok, so I have this date set up with this SUPER hottie. Like, Abercrombie and Fitch model, hot. We’ll say his user name is LoveLob. We started with a bit of witty banter over email. He opened with “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” I responded with “Probably because I’m really famous in Germany. I tour with The Hof.” We’ve talked on the phone. We’ve texting back and forth.

But something seems off though. For instance, he asks if I am going back to fishing. I respond, “I injured my arm last year, so as soon as I sort that out, I can’t wait to get back to it.” His response?

“Wait. Are you missing an arm?”

HUH?!?

Um, no, I have all my limbs and even all my fingers and toes.
Yeah alright, maybe he has an active imagination…at least that makes things interesting.

Anyway, he says a few more odd things and I decide to cancel, politely.

And then…he FLIPS. Starts emailing me, all crazy like. How I’ve made everything a nightmare, how dare I judge him, blah blah blah. I basically ignore him. I mean, come the fuck on. We have never even met!!

About 15 minutes later, I get a message from a user named Thunderpants that I had never seen on the god forsaken site before. First of all, ‘Thunderpants’?? AWESOME. Pants opens with a witty line and an attached pic of a SMOKIN bod. I mean, come on. You had me at Thunderpants. I click on the profile…

IT’S LOVELOB! He has changed his profile name to Thunderpants, put up a different profile pic, and wait… get this: copied and pasted an exact line from my profile as his “headline”. Why has he emailed me with this different persona (I would have prefered Thunderpants to LoveLob in the first place) is beyond me. I go to respond, only to find that Lovelob/Thunderpants has blocked me. Foiled again!!

On to more crazy tomorrow….